As a recovering people-pleaser, I used to perform who others wanted me to be. Recently, my 14-year-old called me out — and it reminded me: I can adjust, but I won’t go back to masking. Trust and authenticity matter more than polished pretending.

The closer who we are inside matches who we are outside, the happier we are. A simple truth that hit hard after a recent conversation with my son. It reminded me how often the most polished lives can hide the loudest storms — and how costly the gap between appearance and reality can be.

Pretending drains your energy. Performing your life isn’t the same as living it. Here’s what happened when I stopped.