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When the Outside Looks Perfect, But Inside Is Chaos

  • Writer: Crystal Chu
    Crystal Chu
  • Sep 8
  • 1 min read

Updated: Oct 4

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A therapist on Couples Therapy said something that stuck with me:

“The closer who we are inside matches who we are outside, the happier we are.”


I keep thinking about that.


The other night, my 14-year-old told me about a friend:

This friend does everything —

On paper? They look unstoppable.

And then came the twist: “But their parent yells at them a lot.”


It made me pause. Because how many of us are like that? Perfect on the outside, hurting on the inside.

It reminded me how often the most polished lives can hide the loudest storms. 🌧How many kids (and adults) are building polished résumés while living behind slammed doors?


We tell ourselves we’re doing it all for success, for opportunity, for love.

But what does it cost when the gap between the outside and inside gets so wide?


With my lived experience, I know the torment of that gap — the space between who we think we should be and who we really are.

Masks get heavy 🎭.

Pretending costs energy you could use for joy, connection, real living.


Maybe the first step is noticing when we’re performing for approval instead of showing up as who we truly are.


Here’s to less perfection and more alignment. To homes (and hearts) where volume comes from laughter, not yelling. 💛


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