Why I Asked My 11-Year-Old to Stop Talking
- Crystal Chu
- Oct 3
- 1 min read
I did something incredible the other day — without guilt! (Okay, maybe just a little 😅).
My 11-year-old came home, so excited, words tumbling out about her day. I tried. I really tried to listen. For 5–10 minutes I was present, nodding, keeping track of the names and the little details.
But the truth? I’d just finished a long workday. Dinner was running late. A gazillion things were racing in my head. And I couldn’t do it anymore.
So I did the unthinkable: I stopped her. 🙈
I told her I was tired, I really needed to get dinner ready, and that I’d come back to her story later when I could give her my full attention.
She didn’t like it. I cared. Of course I cared. But more than pretending to listen, I wanted to actually hear her. Her feelings, her story, her joy. 🌱
And here’s the thing: kids know. They’re sharper and more intuitive than we give them credit for. They can sense when we’re distracted, when we’re only half-there. Presence matters. I’d rather pause than fake it.
Maybe that’s the better gift — showing our kids that presence isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being real.

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