I Didn’t Grow Up Knowing I Was Pretty — Or Capable

I wasn’t one of those girls who grew up confident.

Not in how I looked, and definitely not in how I thought.

There were signs — compliments here and there, moments where I felt something spark inside — but they were often met with silence, dismissal, or worse.

I remember once being asked to model for a spa in Shanghai. Later, I ended up on the cover of an expat magazine. On the surface, that should’ve made me feel beautiful. Seen. Validated.

But instead? It brought up shame.

I remembered my mum comparing me to a hooker when I dressed up. That one comment stuck, and it was louder than anything the outside world ever said.

I Didn’t Know How to Believe Myself

It wasn’t just about looks.

Even when there were signs I was intelligent or capable, I brushed them off. I couldn’t own them — I’d been taught to second-guess myself from early on.

I grew up in a home where my opinions didn’t carry weight, where being compliant was safe, and where someone else’s view of me always seemed more trustworthy than my own.

So I became very good at doubting myself.

Very good at keeping quiet.

Very good at waiting for someone else to tell me who I was.

Coaching Changed Me by Making Me Hold Space for Myself

The real shift didn’t come from a breakthrough moment.

It came through the work — coaching, facilitation, holding space for others — again and again.

When I started facilitating and coaching, I thought I was doing it to help others. I still am. But what I didn’t expect was how deeply it would help me.

Every time I held space for someone to speak, to explore, to untangle what was true for them… I had to do the same for myself.

Slowly, I learned how to trust my own voice.

How to believe my gut.

How to make choices and stand by them — not because someone else approved, but because I did.

Why This Matters in My Work

This isn’t just a nice story of healing. It’s the foundation of how I coach.

I know what it’s like to move through the world unseen.

I know what it’s like to be the last one to realise how powerful you are.

I know what it costs to stay quiet.

And I also know what becomes possible when you stop doing that.

This is the lens I bring to my work — not as a therapist or expert, but as someone who’s lived it and continues to live it.

If This Resonates

If you’ve ever felt like the world saw something in you that you couldn’t quite claim for yourself… If you’ve spent years silencing your own instincts, second-guessing your decisions, or struggling to believe what others see in you —

I want you to know: you’re not alone. And you’re not behind.

You’re just beginning.

And you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

🧭 If you’re ready to explore coaching with me, you can learn more about my approach here or get in touch for a conversation.